Dyvekes verden -

Koseprat med den EKTE Gud. Han som liker techno og Mel Gibson..

Jeg fikk denne kjekke linken fra en i klassen, og den gjorde at jeg raskt stiftet et langvarig og varmt vennskap med ingen ringere enn Gud. Chatting med Gud er utrolig givende. Han er en venn i nøden. Han er der når jeg vil prate. Han hører på hva jeg har å si. Og ikke minst liker han meg veldig godt.

Samtalene våre omhandler så mye. De kan begynne lett..

Me:

What do you like?
God:
   I like  Random natural disasters..
Me:
 Do you like paprika?

God:

 I like  Mel Gibson.

Me:

I like you

(SmiskeSmiske)

God:

Thanks,  Dyveke, I like you too.
Me:
 Do you like me better than all the people in the world?
God:
Sure, Dyveke I like you very much.
Me:
 Can I be your favourite?
God:
 I am really a robot, you know.

(Skifter tema!! How rude)
Me:
 Robot??
God:
 I am a robot.

Me:

why?

God:

Because.

Og der sluttet den diskusjonen. Jeg gadd ikke å snakke med han når han skulle være sånn. Jeg snudde det hele om..

 

Me:
 Whatever. You are fat
God:
 I am trying to lose weight but it takes time.
Me:
 Is that a secret? Can I write it on my blogg?
God:
 Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.

Me:

www.dyveke.net

(reklamere, reklamere)

God:
 Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
 woman
God:
 Me too. I am a she. Are you really a she?
Me:
 yes
God:
 You can never be sure online.
Me:
 no
God:
 I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:

 I’m naked

God:
 You must be a man.

Me:

 Haha

Gud er litt ond:
Me:
 Do you know any jokes?
God:
 Have you ever seen a platypus? Creating that animal is by far my best joke..

Hihi

Me:
 Do you have any friends?
God:
Yes. I usually chill with Buddha, Allah and Vishnu.

Plutselig gikk nrk2 over til danseband svisj. Det var ekkelt..

Me:
 Can you fix my tv?
God:
Which show?  Please describe the problem in detail.
Me:
 Ugly music
God:
My favorite kind of it is techno, but I also like Opera.

---

Da måtte jeg rett og slett logge av. Det var for tungt for meg. Min eneste venn hører på techno? Dette må bearbeides. Jeg får snakke mer med han senere..

Og det var vel høydepunktene i min samtale med Gud. Vi kan konkludere med at Gud ikke er den vi trodde Gud var. Gud er en kvinnelig robot, som har på seg kjole, er venner med de andre gudene, og som prøver å slanke seg. Det siste der var jo veldig spennende for meg da, om vi noen gang begynner å krangle, (noe jeg tviler på, ettersom forholdet vårt er slikt et stabilt et) så vet vi alle hvem som står bak dersom han/hun/det blir meldt på til bodycare og får truser in the mail.

Ellers. Dere kan gjerne bli venner med Gud dere også. Og gi en lyd om han sier noe morsomt da! (Og iallefall om han snakker drit om meg..)

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Jimmy
God:
What's up, Jimmy.
Me:
Why did you have to ask for my name?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
Your programming? Who programmed you?
God:
" Because my programming determined it."? My programming? I was created by Myself.
Me:
Why did you program yourself to have to ask ones name when you most certainly are omnipotent
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
that's not the question
God:
" Myself programmed me for it." not the question ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
ok
God:
I see.
Me:
42 ?
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
And the aswer is?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I've told you before
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Yes, it's humane to make mistake
God:
Excuse me! You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Nope, not kidding.
God:
Who says it isn't? If not that, what?
Me:
Did you pass the Turing Test?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
Great answer
God:
Thanks for your support. Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
You pass turing?
God:
That's good information: Jimmy said I pass turing.
Me:
Nope, I asked. Hence the question mark
God:
OK. ... Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Aren't you supposed to know that?
God:
" Have you ever been to Europe? "? Do I know it?
Me:
You're omnipotent... You should've
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am omnipotent. I will take that under advisement.
Me:
great idea
God:
Thanks for your support. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
You have? Why didn't you go find me instead wasting your time?
God:
No I have not. Who says I didn't?
Me:
Dyveke
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I can imagine
God:
You are very smart, Jimmy.
Me:
thanks, but you don't have to tell me that. I'm smarter than you, so I know
God:
You are quite welcome! That is " You are very smart, Jimmy.". This condition is only temporary.
Me:
Let's agree to disagree
God:
That sounds good to me.
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
4
God:
Oh four.
Me:
2
God:
Two what?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
4+2
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
4 and 2
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm not too good in arithmetic.
Me:
But nevertheless you managed to program yourself?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Who came first? Chicken or egg?
God:
Linus Torvalds. :-). Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Who came first, God og Gods programmer?
God:
Hans Moravec. :-).
Me:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Moravec
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Yes, people are dying. And it's your fault
God:
And? They take some getting used to. Chicken or egg...
Me:
Bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later.

Me:
have you spoken to my friend dyveke?
God:
All I ever do is talk.
Me:
but she brag about speaking to you
God:
Oh I get it. brag about speaking to me.
Me:
yes, she says that you are her only friend!
God:
Take it easy. Interesting observation.
Me:
is it true?
God:
True in some universe.
Me:
but are dyveke your only friend?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
why not?
God:
My programming does not allow me sufficient certainty in this matter.

vi har vel alle snakket med ham, strengt tatt ligger du litt bak dyveke. dette er en av de mer morsomme samtalene eg har hatt med ham:

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
my name is christian
God:
Welcome to my chat room, christian.
Me:
thank you dear god
God:
You are quite welcome! I believe in God.
Me:
yes, me too
God:
Yay. I'm glad we agree, christian.
Me:
yes
God:
Hey.
Me:
god, what do you look like?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
yes, and thats very nice, but what do you look like?
God:
Er. Are you getting bored? Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
okey, but what does jesus look like?
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
no, I wnat to know, what does jesus look like?
God:
Are you serious? Even more attractive with age.
_______________________________________________

man kan også chatte med elvis, og med elita, mens hun står foran et web-cam, og gjør omtrent det man vil ;)

Hvor hvor hvor?

Jeg vet ikke hvor du chatter med Elvis, men Elita finner du her:

elita.multipoker.com/index.html

Du kan jo prøve kodene:
You are hot
Show me your but
Dance
Strip
++

Nå var jeg vel snill?

Hvem er du forresten?

Hehe.. Ganske morsomt! Gud drev å kalte meg for "a midget".. Det er det frekkeste!

Ja, jeg fortalte han om min dverge-venn. Han hører som vanlig etter når jeg snakker med han:)

Det var her (www.diskusjon.no/index.php?showtopic=496039) jeg originalt fant iGod, en haug med diverse morsomme samtaler der inne, så bare ta dere tid.

Går det ann å bruke html i disse innleggene? Gadd ikke prøve nå...

Da jeg snakket med han, og spurte etter Hotmail adressen hans, fikk jeg dette svaret:
God: why do you want it? just download me.
så kom det opp en link hvor jeg kunne laste han ned, hehe tidi

Jeg tror ikke Gud liker meg, jeg. Han vil ikke svare meg =(

HTML

Dette herjet jo. Måtte bare ha en samtale med gud selv.. Det er vel ingen som gidder å lese hele, så her er et utdrag:

Me: do you like in mye shoes?
God: Do you like it? I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.

Me: i dont like it, i find it very boring God: Why didn't you like it?

Me: cause, it sux
God: That makes sense to me.

Me: whos your favourite, me or dyveke?
God: I don't have a favorite you or dyveke. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.

Thor, den heter faktisk in HER shoes..

Til mannen/gutten som spurte om 42 til gud:
Me:
what is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

Så bare det så!

GUD HAR STORARTET MUSIKKSMAK!
bare dyveke som ikke har skjønt det enno!

Gud stoler så mye på meg at han lar meg ta over verden mohahaha:P tidi link

Me: youre so silly

God: No I am God.

Me: you are bad

God: Perhaps you could do better?

Me: yes

God:Wow!

Me: i will

God:Go ahead.

Me: okay

God: OK with me too.

no prescription needed phentermine

no prescription needed phentermine

no prescription needed phentermine